Thursday, January 21, 2016

Something That Scares Me

I really do like making lists; goals, wishes, travel todos - whatever the case may be, I love gathering them all up, writing them down or saving them to a Pinterest board, thinking about them over and over again. There are so many unique and lovely things that I want to do or try out or challenge myself in, and when January hits, I am a enthusiastic "Let's Do Everything Now" kind of cheerleader.

One of my favourite goals or todos was to start challenging myself to get outside of my comfort zone.  Or in more thrilling words: do something that scares me! Let me tell you, my comfort zone is mighty comfy and the thought of ever leaving it makes my knees buckle a little, but like I said above, the world is full of unique and lovely things - and I am missing the majority of them by staying in my bubble. Do something that scares me! Eep!

Since I have a blog, a public way to use my voice without really using my voice, I have a perfect place to share my knee buckling experiences for your enjoyment or, for what I really hope for, is the encouragement that you can do all that you wish, hope, and dream of doing too. Whatever that looks like. All wishes and dreams are different just as all fears and knee buckling moments are different. However, if it is something that you want to do, or conquer, or try out - stop waiting for another moment or day to pass to do it. Start today! Let's push out of our comfort zones and make 2016 our best year ever!

Don't let fear hold me back! Don't let "maybe another time" hold me back! Don't let exhaustion hold me back! Don't let anxiety hold me back! Don't let others hold me back! 

Something I have realized at the end of last year is that I can choose whether or not I want to deal fear or anxiety for the rest of my life. What? I can. Yes. I don't have to live with it. I can go through the motions of getting rid of it for good. I mean its hard, and it will be hard for a very long time, but I do honestly believe that going through the "pain" of it is a much better alternative than believing that it is my personality and part of my life forever. It isn't! Plus, I also know that I will grow from it, I will change, I will be happier, and I will probably even have a little bit of fun. So let's dive in, right?

Don't let anything hold you back!

Now, one of the things that scares me (you are all going to laugh!) is getting all dressed up (outfit, make-up, and hair done) to take an outfit type post for Knotted Home. Between the "I don't have the right clothes, make-up, background" worries and knowing that I am still learning how to use a camera properly and that I have NO EXPERIENCE with make-up or hair or ... it all adds up into a post idea that makes me feel the most squirmy. I just feel like since I don't have the expertise or the knowledge, that I should just stay clear from doing them. Yet, I love reading them! I love that it is a beautiful way to express oneself through the clothes by sharing new hobbies or new products, using bright colours or natural tones, experimenting with makeup, and I love seeing all of the different types of backgrounds that people use or seeing the creative ways that they experiment with their camera.

I did some hair tutorials a year or so ago that still make me cringe, I did one outfit post that I had a blast while doing it, but now it also makes me cringe - can someone just come and do my hair and make-up for me while telling me what to where and how to stand and take photographs of me ... please?!? I guess then I wouldn't really be learning anything would I? So here I go. Squirmy and all.

I have been feeling majorly under the weather for almost eight days now, winter colds suck and having it mixed with some major anxiety makes it all the worse. Trying to be positive and feel like I am getting better, when I don't think I am, I have been showering, putting makeup on, and slightly dressing up every single day. I do like dressing up when I am feeling sick, makes me feel good on the inside! I am also praying and surrounding myself with things that make me feel happy and loved, thank goodness for my little family. Why am I telling you all of this? Because we all have bad days or weeks, and I want you to know that it's okay, but that those days can be minuscule if we want them to be, if we choose to fight, and defeat them.

So hello, here I am. iPhone photos, lack of sleep, sore throat and all. Love love love to you all!

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