Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Journal Day #11 - Looking At Me

Sometimes it can be hard to hear criticism from others. I know for me it's something I may always struggle with- being a people pleaser, etc. At the same time though, constructive criticism can be very helpful, and allow us to look at ourselves in a new light and maybe even grow and change. Take a step out of yourself. If you were on the outside looking in, how would you critique yourself? What things do you see that could change or work on? This isn't about tearing ourselves down; it's about really looking at ourselves and seeing where there's room for growth. From Sometimes Sweet

Tea Dying Experiment Taking Over My Living Room

Honestly, I have to say that I am and have always been extremely hard on myself. It is something that I am trying (and slowly learning .. some days are better than others) to get over, but it is definitely not an easy quest. I expect more of myself. Or more out of my day. More out of my life. I constantly have all of these goals that I want to get completed throughout the day, and when they don't get done, I am upset. Not loudly. Just mentally. And of course it depends on what the goals are. Dishes aren't done? meh. Playing with the Lovebug is way more important. Laundry needs to be folded? whatever. It's time for me to work out. Needing to get my knitting projects under control, needing to write my story, needing to create some lovely craft goods ... AHHH why isn't anything getting done?

I have so many creative ideas going through my head in one day, that to get them all out is an impossibility. So I am frustrated. Even when I have a moment to myself (baby is napping) I sit on the couch and wonder where I should begin. Before I know it, baby is awake and I no longer have the free time to create something new and wonderful. I get stuck. Then I get busy. Then I get moody, because I HAD all of these wonderful ideas and instead of being formed, they are just sitting in my mind only being loved by me.

So I suppose, as well as being hard on myself, I have too much going on or I have to many dreams that I am trying to pump into life all at once. AND I have no idea how to balance it all. I love how some strive with schedules and I know that I need to be one of those people. No, I don't need, I want. Monday - vacuum and write my store. Tuesday - clean bathroom and knit. I am sure I have mentioned before my want to be one who schedules her life. Although, I am a mom and to schedule my life seems kind of a laughing matter, I want to try. I have to try. I just have too many ideas, that I know others would love, circling in my brain. Too many stories. Too many crafts. Too many dreams.

In summery, I either need an assistant or to figure out a way to make two of me. Yes. Yes. This would solve all of my problems. Or schedule my day better.

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