Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Journal Day #3 - On Looking Back

They say hindsight is 20/20, and with good reason- looking back at something always gives us a better view. We're often able to really see how our choices and decisions then shaped our today, and examine what we would have done differently given the chance. When looking back though, we often look way back, but for this exercise stay a little closer to present time and look back just 12 months. If you could go back just one year, what would you tell yourself? What advice would you offer about everything you've experienced? From Sometimes Sweet

I have always wished and hoped to go back in time, give my younger self some piece of advice, help little me out, help little me realize certain things. Wishing to go back in time has been something that I have been trying really hard to stop doing. You can't go back in time, you can't change things. I have always been one to think about what I COULD have done, and sometimes it left me depressed. That is not healthy. However, to glance back at times that have past, with educational purposes, now I think that is necessary. To learn from yourself, realize the things that you still need to work on, understand how much you have changed. To educate, not to mourn.

With that being said, now that today is the tomorrow of last years events, there are still things that I wish I could tell my younger self. There are still moments that I really did not fully appreciate, because I thought I had years, when I only had days.

Oman. I would whisper to my younger self. I would let her know that Oman would not be forever, I would tell her to take complete advantage of living in another country. There were times when I felt so pregnant and so tired that when my husband got home from work, we stayed in and watched television. Instead of going out to the ocean. Instead of hanging out with new friends. Instead of travelling around the city, exploring, learning things. We didn't get very far in learning Arabic, we didn't get completely engulfed in the culture, we didn't get very tanned. This is what I would explain to my younger self. To take advantage of the day. Of the hour. Of the minute. Of the second. Just because we don't know what the future holds.

I always talk about enjoying the Now. And as much as I really try too, there are still things I take advantage of. I still assume that there will be a tomorrow. I ALWAYS assume that there will be a tomorrow. I assumed Oman would be a two year plan, that it would be a long chapter. But it wasn't. It was a cute, mini chapter. Looking back, I know that anything can happen. Anything. And if we always wait till tomorrow, we will have our regrets. I don't want to mourn anymore, I want to look back only with the sureness that I took advantage of every single thing that came my way. This is what i would tell my younger self.

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